Karaoke as defined by the people who came up with it

So last night, jon received a text from his coworker, Claire inviting us to go to "KTV" with her and some friends.

"What is KTV, actually?"

"Karaoke.... National pastime of most Asian countries."

Well. We all know how I feel about letting people know how good I am at singing. HECK YES.


And then she said "Ok, I'll meet y'all at 1030 tomorrow morning."



Wait.... What?

Karaoke in the morning? Without the social lubricant that copious amounts of beer and/or vodka sours provides?

So we met Claire, Christine, Andy, and Amir at Kbox near Esplanade when it opened at 11am today.


In Asia, karaoke doesn't happen In a loud and raucous bar late in the evening, where everyone sounds better as the night wears on. In Asia, karaoke happens in private rooms, where only your friends can hear you. You're served food and beverages, and you can pick as many songs as you'd like, stop singing halfway through, change songs, order more drinks, carry on, cause a general ruckus, etc.













The pitcher is just iced lemon tea. Not beer.

We had so much fun!!!!! I think Jon definitely comes out of his karaoke shell more when he's not in front of general public. We finally got to meet some people, and now (I hope) there can be some new characters (besides stupid sasha) in this here blog.




- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

PS-


Yes. She bangs.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE

One of the super awesome wonderful things about being an expat is getting to travel to other places! Jon needed to attend a training for work last week in Melbourne. I wasn't going to tag along, but then I had one of those middle of the night panic attacks about being alone for a week in a place I'm still not fully comfortable in and still don't know anyone, so I bought a ticket and tagged along.

Oh, Singapore Airlines. You spoiled me in business class before, and now I'm stuck in "low class" with the rest of the peasants. Haha, I kid, but SIA still so much more awesome than airlines back home. Seriously though, once you go business class, coach is a hard pill to swallow. Seven hours of sleep-fighting, head-bobbing guy on my left, and old lady I have to climb over to pee on my right, incessantly crying, seat-kicking 5-year-old sitting behind me: heck yes, I took full advantage of the free alcohol. I put on my earphones and enjoyed some delicious red wine and censor-free movies for a while.

Monday night, after we checked in to the lovely Marriott Melbourne (ps- if anyone knows the answer to this, let me know: how come only certain people get complimentary breakfast at Marriott?) we went to a Greek place called Stalactites. Freaking best greek food eveerrrrr. Forgot my camera though. Idk if it's because we've been meatless for too long, but it was so amazing eating something besides chicken, I wanted to hug the chef. We ate there THREE TIMES during our trip. It really was that good.

Jon was in training all day during the week, so on Tuesday I got an early start and headed down to Queen Victoria Market. This was my HEAVEN. It's like farmers market paradise.







After that, I strolled over to something or other garden, then over to the Melbourne Museum. They have a pretty neat exhibit on the human body, weird stuff and all- it was very interesting, but they kind of overdid the photos of naked bodies. I think it took away from the learning. People were taking pictures of the naked people pictures. I got a little creeped out, so I left. There was a very well done exhibit on Aboriginal Art that I liked. I truly had no idea about their persecution in Australian History, and I was very moved about the stories shared.


I also went to the Botanical Gardens during the trip, but it was raining and cold, so I didn't stay as long as I would have liked.



I also took Jon to his first musical! We went to see Rock of Ages - loved it! We probably would have loved it better in America, where the jokes would have been understood by everyone in the audience and not just us, and the actors weren't trying so hard to cover up their funny little Aussie accents and just do the show, but it was still a VERY good time. I'd say Jon's first foray into musicals was a success. I can't say he's ready for Les Mis or even Wicked, but I think he could handle Grease... we'll take it slow.

All in all- Australia was a success. I'm sad I didn't get a chance to go to the zoo and see any kangaroos, but I got some shopping done, I got my burger fix, I drank way too much amazing coffee, I played in the cold weather, and I loved every minute of it. I loved Melbourne, and I definitely won't sit out the next time Jon has to go either.


- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki


PS- I didn't know where else to share my amazing cheeseburger and the funny thing I saw at the adult beverage store:

Location:Melbourne,Australia

Pizza can't be that different... Can it??

We leave to Australia tomorrow and still need to pack. In the essence of making sure that it gets done, I suggested that we order in delivery so that we utilize time here at the apartment. Unfortunately for our luggage, I had to stop everything that I was doing to write this.

I looked around online a little- there's McDelivery here, which is exactly what it sounds like: MCDONALD'S DELIVERS. But we decided that we need to be much more intoxicated to justify delivering a juicy beefy cheeseburger and hot crispy fries (I miss beef, ok? I'm seriously about to sprout feathers over here). Besides, pizza sounded kind of good tonight.

Pizza Hut here actually turns out to be a fancy sit down restaurant, with actual dishes served on real plates with forks and knives- fancy pasta dishes, fried fish, wraps, and gourmet pizzas like this:





And appetizers like this:





I didn't say it sounded good. Just fancier than American Pizza Hut.

I finally found a place called PastaMania that is currently offering a special of a pizza, an order of pasta, 3 pieces of garlic bread, and 2 cans of coke for $20! Awesome! I order online and they only offer specific pizzas (not pepperoni) with the special. So I ordered a cheese pizza, and then decided to order a separate pepperoni pizza (bc that's what we really wanted), thinking that whatever doesn't get eaten tonight, we can eat tomorrow before we leave.

So the guy arrives with our order, I opened the door and laughed out loud. I put some food on my plate and snapped this picture:





No seriously, where's the rest of it? The whole pizza was the size of my hand. And I have small hands.

I can literally eat a whole slice in one bite. I just tried it.

Jon told me to tell y'all that it wasn't bad. It was ok. I won't miss it when I go back home to America, but it'll serve the purpose while we're here.


(stupid Sasha. Fine, I did get this chubby by eating too much food. It's because we have food in America. We don't eat snacks for meals, we eat meals.)

- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

Hawker centers, the reason why I'm going to lose all my cooking skills

I mentioned in the grocery store episode about how eating out is so much cheaper than cooking in. There is only one reason for this, and it's called a hawker center.


A hawker center is essentially a large food court, usually outside, filled with lots of picnic-type tables, surrounded by food stalls. There are some indoor food courts at malls that follow the same concept, but the authentic experience can only be had at the outside ones. Back in the day, they were just street cart vendors that would park all of their carts on one street corner in a neighborhood, much like hot dog guys in New York. The government decided to open the hawker centers to enforce hygiene and prevent food-borne illnesses.

Alright, so you've got easily about 50 stalls, each one selling Singaporean delicacies (which I will visit in depth sometime soon). One will have chicken rice, one will have roasted duck, one will have Indian, BBQ seafood, noodle guy, soup guy, juice, soda, beer, so on, so forth.

You walk along the path, and each stall has a picture menu along the awnings, and when you decide what you want, you find a seat, order, and the stall assistant will bring you your food.






Your whole meal is usually around 5 dollars. And trust me if it ain't some of the best and freshest food you've ever had.

You have to pay for napkins usually, and you eat on a styrofoam plate with plastic forks and spoons. It's very difficult to be ladylike with a plastic fork. I do my best.

They serve msg-laden broth with almost every dish, which i find strange bc it's so hot outside, I don't know why people even want soup. Don't ask me what kind of broth, because it's the water they cook everything in. It generally tastes like hot blah nothing water. Unless they add miso, then it's hot blah nothing umami water.

We live across the street from one of the most notorious hawker centers on the island, Newton Food Center. As you walk up, there are about 8 stall guys that jump on you to come sit at their table. They annoy you until you decide what you want. They don't do that at other hawkers, just Newton. Most of the stalls are all about seafood. There's a large parking lot attached, and I think every night is a car show- we've seen lambos and ferraris. Parking lots are not very common here, so I think thats why.

I've been a bit hesitant about eating some of the local seafood delicacies because they keep the heads on all the shrimps, and all the crabs are alive and you have to pick out the one you want to send to his death. I mean, I can see the chickens faces too, they hang them up with their heads still attached, but I didn't see them waving their little arms at me before I ate them. Poor delicious little guys.

I will follow up soon with an article about the food itself. Hold on to your antacids for that one, it'll be a doozy.


- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

Stupid little kids (or Why our plan to get fit is an uphill battle)

So yesterday, I went on another mission to walk to a grocery store instead of depending on the train. I found one that was a little over one mile away, it was over 90 degrees out, but I was going to do it and carry all my groceries back.

I mapped out the route and started walking.

I've failed to mention previously that there is a problem in Singapore with giving different streets the same name. It's not even like Main Street and Main Ave, it's literally "Clemenceau Ave N" occurs twice. This happens frequently. And when you're walking, it can be hard to tell the difference.

I don't have an operational iPhone at the moment (bc At&t are a bunch of jerks who won't let you use your own device in another place). I don't know how to navigate. I can't find my way out of a barrel without gps.

I realized after I while that I wasn't going the right way. I was caught up in some construction and just kept following arrows. I found myself outside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the Alliance Francaise de Singapour, and thought to myself- "one of these groups must be kind enough to have unsecured wi-fi". It was the French. I will not be making any jokes about French people, they saved my hiney.

I google mapped myself and finally got to my destination. I had walked about 2.5 miles by the time I got there.

But I was not giving up, mind you. I had an objective, and I was sticking to it. It will always be this hot, and I can't be so dependent on the train.

So I walked back home. I was very proud of myself for sticking to a goal, and getting some extra exercise while i was at it. Thankfully this time went smoothly, and I sweatily arrived at our apartment in desperate need of some cooling off. I put on my swimsuit and walked downstairs to the pool.

I swam a few laps, then picked up my magazine to sit by the jets.

And then my lovely peaceful relaxation time was shattered by a blond pigtailed six year old.

"Are you reading, or are you swimming?"
"well, I was swimming, but now I'm reading."
"what's your name? I'm Sasha"

Turns out Sasha is from Australia, hates her little brother, and her mom lets her hang out at the pool by herself. I don't blame Sasha's mother. Kid won't shut up.

"where are you from, Nikki?"
"I'm from America."

"is everyone there fat like you?"


...cricket...


"actually, yeah, kind of."

"did you eat a lot to get so fat? your legs are very big."


I diffused the conversation as gracefully as possible, and went back upstairs to contemplate living under a rock for the rest of my life.




- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

Chicken feet, and other grocery store anomalies.

Doesn't that look like halloween gone so wrong? You can see all their little fingernails!! Only in Asia is this ok. I saw this and was disgusted, but then realized that if these people were to visit San Antonio, they'd probably be terrified of tripas, lengua, and menudo. It's all relative, I suppose.



In other news, I did successfully accomplish my mission to locate pinto beans in this country... And at about 6 American dollars per pound, I think we'll be eating beans much less frequently (that is, until Christmas, when I pack about 10 lbs worth in my luggage).

Everything here is so expensive! It is infinitely cheaper not to eat at home. Beef? Easily $15 for a half pound. Box of cereal? About 5-6 bucks. I just paid $4 for one of those regular yellow umbrella girl canisters of salt. I saw hamburger helper at the grocery store for $7.45.

At least there's rice.

Chicken too.

They don't have sriracha here, and it would be soooooo good with their food. Someone remind me to pack some in my luggage along with all the beans.

I did find hidden valley ranch dressing today, and I breathed a small sigh of relief that I did. I dont think jon would be able to survive if he didn't think he could have ranch. After the hooters fiasco, I started having small panic attacks that we would never get to experience that creamy delicious goodness ever again.

Also strange? They sweeten their milk. It's pretty gross. The canister actually says "MADE with fresh milk" blllllleeeeeeech. I just bought three tiny milks of all the different brands, and we're fairly happy with one of them. Still tastes a little funny. They have real cheese though, so that's good.

This is getting interesting. We'll see how it goes. We really aren't in Texas anymore, Toto. Tears may be imminent. I miss my kitchen. And HEB. Poor poor HEB.


- Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

Futile attempt to do something American

So today in the news, Osama bin Laden was announced to have died.

Jon and I decided that we should do something American to celebrate.

McDonalds? No. Subway? Negative.

Hooters?? YES. AWESOME.

So we journeyed to the beautiful Clarke quay:



And found the very first Hooters in all of Asia. As far as were concerned, it'll probably be the last.

Seemed fairly legit. Tall wood tables. Only two TVs, but they were on ESPN. Overly made-up chicks in tank tops and orange hot pants. We were so excited to see fried pickles on the menu!! Awesome! America! And then this happened:





Gross. Didn't even taste like pickle. Just crunchy nothing. And the sauce left much to be desired. Woefully inadequate.

Alright, well maybe they don't understand pickles, all they have is cucumbers here anyway. So we thought to ourselves: the wings can't be that bad, they bottle their own sauce. So we order, and sure the wings were fine... But the ranch??? Let's not get into that disaster. Disgusting.



We ate them. We were hungry. It was for the glory of America.

But if we ever decided to come here to celebrate being Mexican, we'd also be disappointed:





We're done, hooters. Done. I might even write a scathing email to corporate. Salted rim not advisable- psh, EATING here not advisable. I'm gonna advise you to look at the recipe book again.

In any case:

-Cheers to America! Jon & Nikki

Were here!

We made it! Few bumps in the road, but were finally here and excited to experience all the SG has to offer.

The journey was pretty rough. We arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare, shuffled through security (blissfully shortened bc of our fancy business class tickets) and proceeded to spend about an hour in the business lounge as we waited for our flight to board. We eventually meandered to our gate, and when boarding for our flight was announced, I quickly came to the realization that my passport was no longer in my bag.

Needless to say, I freaked. I SPRINTED (and I barely run for busses) back to the business lounge, and it was nowhere to be found. I jogged at a fairly rapid pace back to the gate, asking random security guards and restaurant employees if it had been turned in. We asked the flight people what to do, ran around some more, when I finally concluded that I may not recover it in time, and Jon needed to get on the plane. I held on to all hope as I ran back to the business lounge to double check, and on my way, I heard an angelic voice say over the speaker "Paging: , please dial lost and found for a missing item." It was as if God himself spoke. The gate agent then ran to the gate that angel lady said it was at... and then paged back to say it was not there. We called semi-mentally-challenged angel lady back, and she said that they had moved it to customer service. Why? I'll never know. Gate agent guy ran to that area, retrieved it, and began the run back... when the other gate guy said "I'm sorry- the door is locked. There's nothing we can do."

I collapsed onto the chair, began hyperventilating, and CRIED MY EYES OUT. I watched the plane leave with my husband on it, unaware if I'd ever make it to Singapore.

I have to give a mad shout out to the Singapore Airlines people. They helped me so much. The guy didn't have to run, but he did. After my passport was found, they immediately rebooked me for the very next flight, they called a hotel for me, and stayed with me until the hotel shuttle showed up.

How did I go about losing my passport? while walking between the business lounge and the gate, I dropped my carry-on bag. I guess it fell out and i didn't even notice.

I did eventually get in contact with Jon, I eventually got on the plane, and I eventually arrived in Singapore. Leave it to me to make what should have been the beginning of our new exciting adventure... an exciting adventure, to say the least.

In any case, we are here. More adventures to follow.

-nikki

Location:Singapore